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Kelly Clarkson Clarifies Remarks About Being Skinny: ‘I’ve Never Contemplated Suicide Because of My Weight’

Kelly Clarkson is no stranger to body shaming 10+ years into her career, but the criticism is nothing compared to how horrible she felt when she tried to maintain her ‘pop star’ body image. Kelly Clarkson has spoke very candidly about her fluctuating body image — including her struggles with bulimia in high school — throughout this second stage of her career. Clarkson detailed a “very dark time” she went through around the release of her 2004 sophomore album, Breakaway, when she felt an immense pressure to fit the industry-approved look of a pop star.

“When I was really skinny, I wanted to kill myself. I was miserable, like inside and out, for four years of my life,” she told the magazine. “But no one cared, because aesthetically you make sense.”

Clarkson continued, “It was a very dark time for me. I thought the only way out was quitting. I like wrecked my knees and my feet because all I would do is put in headphones and run. I was at the gym all the time.”

Once the article was published, fans became concerned that Clarkson was once suicidal and clarified her statements on Twitter. “Just to clear something up. I wasn’t ever miserable because I had to be thin. I said I was miserable & as a result I became thin,” she wrote Tuesday morning (Oct. 24). And in response to a tweet that correlated her skinniness with suicide, she tweeted, “NOT TRUE I’ve never contemplated suicide because of my weight.I said people had no idea I was unhappy oddly enough because I appeared healthy.”

As Clarkson later pointed out in the Attitude interview, she has since taken hold of her career and her happiness by keeping positive people around, referring to a lyric from her My December track “Sober.” “There’s this line ‘picked the weeds but kept the flowers’ and I just live my life by that because you are who you surround yourself with,” she told Attitude. “I was around some really negative people, and I got out of it because I had a lot of great people there, too. It was a case of turning around, facing them and walking toward the light.”

Now married to her manager, Brandon Blackstock (with whom she has two children, 3-year-old daughter River, 3, and 1-year-old son, Remington) Clarkson is much happier than the Breakaway days — even shutting down a body shamer in July by declaring she’s “still fucking awesome.” Her eighth studio album, Meaning of Life, is out Oct. 27.