Ghosting (definition) breaking off a relationship (often an intimate relationship) by ceasing all communication and contact with the former partner without any apparent warning or justification, as well as ignoring the former partner’s attempts to reach out or communicate.
Although it has always been a risk in the realm of dating, it has become extremely common in recent years. The Plenty of Fishdating site conducted a survey in which they polled 800 daters from ages 18 to 33. Eighty percent of respondents reported being ghosted.
An obvious explanation for the increase in this behavior is that it is simply easier today to break up with someone by ghosting them, particularly if you met online and can avoid ever being face to face with them again. However, it is far from easy for the ghostee. Anyone who’s been ghosted knows how painful it can be. It leaves no way for the person left behind to make sense of what happened. Questions are left unanswered: “What did I do wrong?”; “Did he ever really care about me?”; and even, “Did something happen to her?”
There are often lasting effects on the ghostee’s self-esteem, particularly if they were already suffering from blows to their self-image. Good thing Loni Love ghosting had a change of heart and came back. #SecondChance
(Madamenoire) Coy as she might try and play about it, Loni Love has a new man in her life. The comedian must be comfortable with him, because she’s shared images of her beau, actor James Welsh, on Instagram. Like this one for example:
And as much as the 47-year-old is into Welsh, she’s not the only one. Her The Real co-stars put all of her business out there on Friday and talked about how he was a good look for their friend — despite the fact that he went ghost on her early on in their correspondences. For two weeks at that.
“I really like James,” said Adrienne Houghton during the Girl Chat segment.
“James is the white man that’s on Loni’s Instagram!” said Jeannie Mai as the audience roared in excitement. “Scroll down!”
“The thing is, we love James. We think James is the sweetest guy,” Houghton said. “I’m having a hard time believing James ghosted you for two weeks in the beginning. This actually makes me reconsider things because he’s such a good guy.”
A surprisingly shy Love said, “I can’t answer that. I can let him answer. Maybe in 2019, I’ll have him to come.”
She made clear that she doesn’t want to put him out there too much just in case they don’t work out.
“That’s only one month. It may not last!” she said. “That’s why I’m saying, it may not last.”
“So in 2019, James will come on the show and explain himself?” Houghton asked.
“Maybe,” Love said. “Maybe.”
Now, it’s understandable why Love would be hesitant to have Welsh come on the show and do the whole significant other cake walk that so many of the men in the lives of the women of the show (past and present) have done. Love introduced a 23-year-old boyfriend she had on Ellen, a guy named Sam she met at a comedy club.
That ended up being short-lived. And she’s also been open about the fact that she was married before, but ended that relationship so she could pursue her dreams of being a comedian.
“I was very young in the stand-up game. I had just left my job and I had a gig. I met this young man. Oooh he was fine. I was fine, he was fine,” she said on The Real in 2013. “One day he told me, ’cause we had spent two years together, he told me to meet him in Vegas one day. I met him in Vegas and he popped the question and we got married. I was like, ‘Yeah, it’s on!’ But what had happened was, marriage is a serious situation.
And I was really young in my stand-up career. I really wanted to be an entertainer. I had already left engineering. I didn’t want to be in a traditional relationship. And then I was in love, but it takes a lot. He needed to move to another state, and that wouldn’t have allowed me to be a stand-up. So I really had to make a decision of, did I really want to have that settle down, family life, or was I going to be an entertainer?”
“I didn’t want to do him the disjustice of not being a wife,” she added. “Because being a wife is important. I think I made the right decision, because look at me now.”
We’re intrigued to hear the story of how James left her hanging initially, if he does get the green light next year to come on the show.