What to do when an ex moves on

What do you do when you see your ex with someone else? This was the love of your life. The thought of the relationship ending never entered your mind. Welp, now it’s front and center. The realization that it’s over feels similar to a pimp slap. Your happily ever after has been replaced with bitterness, hatred and sadness. The ying to your yang relationship has turned hostile, and you can’t stand the ground they walk upon.

We can all agree that breakups hurt, whether mutual or not. This is the person you shared your most intimate moments with, and now they’re gone. It hurts, right? They say time heals all wounds, but the gaping hole of missing this person has yet to be filled. You’ve gone on meaningless dates that left you even more lonely. For instance, you thought you were over the breakup until you saw your ex with someone new. It took every ounce of grace and self-respect not to approach them and act a fool. The realization that they’ve moved on triggers feelings of loss and disappointment.

So, when your worst fears become a reality and the pain makes you want to do a drive-by, please keep it classy. The worst thing you can do is to show emotion. As a result, you’re a hot mess.

Instead, here are my four tips regarding what not to do when you see your ex with someone else:

Firstly, don’t show out. We all have a little drama in us. The urge to make a scene seems appealing. Trust me, it won’t end well. Walk away with your head held high. Your heart will want you to succumb to impulsive behavior, but don’t embrace it. Find a private place, preferably at home, because you can’t fall apart in public I repeat, not in public.

Secondly, don’t check out the new person. Seriously, who the hell is this person? What are they doing that I wasn’t doing? Millions of questions enter your mind with only one person responding — and that’s you. Put your phone down, back away from the computer and don’t be a troll. Remember, folks only show the best side of themselves on social media. So, why go there?

Thirdly, don’t get your mutual friends involved. One of the hardest things about a breakup is the fact that you share mutual friends. All this will do is put them in an awkward situation, and do you need that? Frankly, it’s none of their business.

Lastly and most importantly, don’t reach out to your ex. I know it’s painful, but it’s not their job to soothe your pain and make you feel better. And if you’re looking for answers to the questions listed above, you can forget it. The only impression you’ve left is that you’re not over the relationship. They can’t make you feel better. Don’t even set yourself up for failure.

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